Numb life

Feeling lonely again seems to happen more and more. I keep looking to the past and miss it. I don’t know why I miss it. My job was shit my friend was not a good friend and I was stuck just getting by. Now I’m not working which I miss, I have no friends, and im clueless to what to do about my future. So much had changed yet at the same time nothing has. I seem to collect hobbies and things to do but I really don’t have any passions in my life. I feel like I’m in a perpetual state of going through the motions. I watched a tv show about a chick and she met a priest and the way he talks about his faith is amazing. He talks about it and lights up and I know it’s a tv show but this is how some people actually care about it. Other people are passionate about there job or there family. I honestly have nothing in my life like that. Is this just me I love and adore my child but sometimes I want and need to be alone. I really don’t have anything else to be passionate about. I like many things but I don’t have that 100% pure passion for it. I’m more like yeah its ok. I read once that there is a driving force in people that make them want to do things or take chances. I take no chances and am living that numb life. How do people find there passions? Should I just try a bunch of stuff until something sticks. I kinda feel like I could be passionate about a lot of things but being constantly put down and not thought of as anything than less than that I lost my will to give two shits. Are people constantly doing things to keep there faith strong. Im basically rambling about nothing. I wish I was more decisive and had a clue what I want. All I know is I want out of my shit relationship. Peeep peep