Category: Uncategorized

Getting things started

Why is it getting started so annoying long. What happened to the times where you wanted to do something like go to school or get job you basically just had to walk in the door. Getting a job is making a resume no one’s going to look at. Applying to a hundred places and maybe get three call backs. Where they ask you about your resume they clearly didn’t read. Then put down all of your experience and act like your a horrible person for leaving a shit job. Or good forbid you leave without giving notice. That’s bullshit I was getting harassed and told management and they acted like I was being dramatic so I quit that. or another job just telling me I’m going to get a promotion and dick me around for months then randomly give it to someone else after I was basically doing the job. They don’t deserve notice. Another thing is so many places act like we should be insanely loyal to some shit place constantly screwing there employees. Fuck you think I have to be loyal to do my job properly. Get the fuck out of here.

Unsure

I’m always so unsure of what I want to do. I got a job thank God. But know I’m thinking about going to school and I don’t know if I should go to a community college or a trade school. A community college I think would be cheaper in the end and I would be able to transfer credits. Why the hell don’t they actually tell you about this shit in school. Or tell you about options in school. All I new was college. I never thought about going because my family was broke as fuck and I didn’t know there was other options. It’s one of the many ways schools were letting us down. They also need to emphasize how to properly pick a career. In my school it was basically just do whatever not talk about if it’s suitable, if your going to be able to actually find a job, and what are schooling options. I could bitch forever about American schools they suck. I’ll complain about another time.

Why

I been working on something. I started off very excited but idk the farther I get with it the more I hate it. It looks terrible. I hate it but I keep working on it hopping it’s going to turn out ok. I really don’t think I’m going to like it when it’s over. It’s like the second thing I made for myself. I usually make things for other people. But this time I was like fuck everyone else and I’m making something for myself. I keep thinking it will get better then I look at it and I’m like I fucking hate you. I added something special and I still hate it. Im going to finish it and see how I feel. I really don’t think I’ll keep it. I’ll probably take it apart. Idk yet

Mornings

Why do mornings always have to suck. If I’m working shits going on. If I’m home this asshole is bitching and wanting to argue about everything. I usually don’t say anything because if I do they last all fucking day. It doesn’t matter what I say because I’m always wrong and he’s always right and I’m horrible person. I woke up and wanted to just run to the store alone for some things but I know if I go I’ll get accused of cheating. And told I’m a shit person. I need milk and we’re really low like fucks sake. I hate you. Make everything little thing I do a huge big fucking deal. Stupid asshole

Errr

I have so many things planned and so many things I want to do. I have some days of so hopefully can get them done. Ever just start something an end up making huge mess. Stuff everywhere some of it done but not all of it. I tried to just finish something but end up seen a laundry list of other things I need to do. I need to organize so bad. My one room is a mess. I got containers for organizing it but idk if I’ll get to it. We can hope.

This morning

So far been train wreck. I’m at work and everything is fucking up. Kitchen running with skeleton crew. I mean like barely getting shit out. New people who don’t know about. Everything happening at once. Just overall shit. These are the days that make or break people. Someone was already ready to leave.

Does he like this?

Sometimes I feel like this asshole likes making me feel like shit and putting me down. He’ll always argue about the most rediculous things. This morning because we haven’t had sex. Just going on and on how he despises me. Told me to fuck off and die. And many more beyond horrible things. My feelings are more I don’t like you please leave. I don’t want to talk to him or be by him I’m not going to fight or argue I’m just done and want to move on. He shits on everything I like so much and with such enthusiasm it just makes me hate most of my stuff. It’s at the point I don’t want to openly like anything because it’s only a matter of time before he shits on it. I have antique furniture and I loved it so much. But he spent so much time and energy trashing it and telling me how fucking stupid I am for liking what I like I really don’t want most of my stuff anymore. I bought something and right away he’s got to say something. I was very excited and right away crushed. That’s him constantly putting down everything about me, everything I like, and how I am. Real fun

Confused?

This jackass treats me like shit then is shocked I don’t want to spend time with him. Like how the fuck are you shocked. You stupid asshole are you this delusional that you think your being nice when you make me cry. Fuck you, you ass hat of a human being. Go suck a dirty dick you sack of garbage and die.

Shitty so far

Woke up to me getting yelled at for an hour. Was told I was fat, disgusting, lazy, and stupid. Im looking into going to school. But sometimes I just don’t want to do anything but lay in bed. I’m tired of fighting or being yelled at. I barely have the energy to deal with this asshole and then to add school. Then I think I can’t count on him and need to do something that will pay good. I talked to someone from one of the schools and she asked me why I wanted to go to school? Is this a dumb question or is it just me. Like obviously to continue my education to have an actual career and not just a job. What did she think I was going to say I like going into insane debt. Then at same time she acts like I should just jump into it. Like no I’m not going into debt on a whim. She acted like she really couldn’t care less as long as went there. Like it’s a lot of money for a school that might suck. I looked into a nursing school but read so many bad reviews that I’m like idk what’s point if it’s shitty school.