I’m kind of sick of people at the moment. I’m tired of people shoving shit in my face. Yet again I come back to the fact I don’t like living with other people. I absolutely cannot trust people with shit. Not even with the smallest of shit. Do I have high expectations or standards. I really don’t think so. I really don’t expect much from people. I share the absolute minimum I need to. One thing they don’t disappoint on is making me feel like shit. I just want to be alone for a bit. People I seem to be around are never worth it. Tired of people not respecting me. I’m tired of people thinking they know what’s better for me. I’m tired of people saying there different then my ex and do all the same things. I don’t care if your upset thats no excuse to put me down. Fuck your apologies they mean nothing when you do it over and over again. He just seems to be full of empty gestures. Tired need to pack for day.
Tag: annoying
I hate
I hate that I always have to be the responsible person. I always have to plan. I always have to make sure things got done. I hate that my daughter will be so understanding and caring for her father. Then when it comes to me my daughter is harsh, mean, and just terrible. I was teaching my daughter something because her dad isn’t good at those kinds of things. When we were done she talked about how she is smarter then me. Like what the actual fudge. Sometimes I honestly can’t stand her. I make a point to not say negative things about her father around her. But he on the other hand has no problem saying shit to her about me. I’m tired of trying to give her everything and her treating me like shit. I’m emotionally drained and keep thinking of just going on the road.
Im ridiculous
Why am I so anxious about working tomorrow. Just stressed and freaking out. It’s ridiculous. I’m being a complete ass to my boyfriend. What is wrong with me. Errrr what the hell. Stop the shit and go. I’m going that’s it. I’m going to set alarms go to sleep and wake up for a new day. Make that money. Ok let’s do this.
Season people
Some people are just not worth it. It’s depressing to think like that but it’s true. Some people are not worth it you care about them are interested in there life. You help them with there issues but in the end just a waste of time. It’s like the saying there are people in your life for a season, a reason, or for life. So far seems like most of the people I have been around have been season people. Just a bunch of people who are not worth it. I’m someone who cares alot about the people I associate with. If your my friend I will give up everything for you. If I’m in a relationship with you then you mean the world to me. I know who I am and I’m not going to change and don’t want to. I love and care with all my heart and I’m done with people who can’t do the bare minimum. So good luck season people. I’m out. Peace.
shit friend
I recently connected with an old friend. We have known each other for over ten years. I was so excited to talk to them and spend time with them. This is probably the fifth time we were supposed to hangout and they just blew me off. At this point I really don’t see the point in saying anything. I was so excited to talk to him about things. Get his input and thoughts on things. Just a complete waste. I don’t see the point. It seems to happen any time I get excited for something. This is why I just don’t. I know better. I know to expect it to be shitty. Just lame.
What am I doing
I have so many thoughts. So many ideas. I want to plan to do so many things. I’m feeling so down and so unsure of everything. I’m not in the mood to do anything. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Seems like depression but I’m not even thinking about the future and that’s usually all I think about. My boyfriend is being so amazing and awesome but he’s just getting on my nerves. I don’t know why I just want to be alone. I don’t want to do anything or go anywhere. I try to do thinkmgs like go swimming and I just zone out and end up wanting to go back home to lay in bed. I got a job and it seemed nice and pay was better than last job. But just seemed like red flags in a pretty package. I know it’s dumb but I’m still upset about my other job. I really cared about my residents and am worried about them. I also don’t care because the people I worked under where shit and absolutely didn’t care. I just feel done for a bit in my field. Which kinda sucks because I think I should go to school for it but I don’t know. Should I it kind of sucks. It’s not free schooling. I just don’t know and I feel like I have absolutely no one to talk to about things. I probably do but I don’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about anything.
sleep
Sleep dream image Sleep to leave todayDream to miss those lostImage a beautiful day
Sometimes I choose to sleep as long as I can to have amazing dreams. Dreams my mom is still alive. Days with good dreams are hard to wake up and live the day.
Just getting by
feel like I’m just getting by. Not so much financially just emotionally. Like I’m running on fumes. On autopilot or just not in the moment. I’m either doing a lot of things or in bed all day long doing nothing. Thinking of writing some poetry so watch out for that shit pile coming.
help
I am so tired of reaching out for help just to be shit on. At my job I rarely say anything then I randomly say I need help shit is hard and they start fucking with my schedule. At home my boyfriend wanted to be the one I talk to. But clearly only on his time. Sometimes I don’t want to talk I just want someone to hold me. But constantly just feel pushed away. I don’t like to open up at all then the rare moments I do every single time someone has to make sure I know it was a mistake.
Sincerely lonely girl
kinda done
ok this is random
but what the fuck. This mother chucker tell me I’m too much. Of all the shit my ex told me. This new ass telling me I’m too much hurt alot. I don’t know if it’s because he’s not my ex and I was trying so hard for him to feel how I cared about him. I’m hurt but also pissed. Like fuck you yeah I love holding your hand, and spending lots of time together, and I like sex. Is someone really going to complain about that. Who doesn’t love unconditional love. Like I’m sorry but are you kidding me. I did nothing but give and asked for nothing in return. I was making him things I’m not sure I’m going to actually see him again. I really just want to mail them to him. Then I think that’s shitty and I shouldn’t do that. But honestly so far I’m sticking to it and cutting contact. This is what he said he wanted in a relationship someone who he can rely/depend on, someone who is caring, funny, basically Someone who is there for me. But honestly I’m the only one who seems to want this. He says he shows his love by touch but I’m the one doing all the touching and always wanting hugs and cuddles. I just want someone who does what they say. Stop blowing smoke up my ass.
shit life 