Every time after an argument with my asshole I’m exhausted and upset and just want to hide and be alone. But him he watches funny movie, goes to visit his friends and does whatever he wants to do. Today he just takes our daughter and leaves to go idk where hopefully just to see his mom but who knows not me. I’m a big believer in noone is winning in a argument. The very fact that it got that fart that your talking down to people and making them this upset that they cry themselves to sleep is bad. Yet it always seems like he won. He’s always willing to argue about anything until he thinks he won. Never after an argument is he upset or in tears he just go on with his day. I hate how he’s the only one with endless freedom. He can spend what he wants on anything. He can leave at anytime or come home at anytime. If he wants to do anything he just does it. I’m allowed to cook what I want as long as he likes it. I get third degree when I take out garbage. I didn’t think my life was that great before I meet him but now I think how stupid I was to give it away. In the beginning I just always thought Im not used to being with someone and can’t be selfish so I would but his needs ahead of mine. Now everything is about what he wants. He got me absolutely nothing for Christmas and he kept making the excuse that he was broke. But Christmas doesn’t pop up on random day you knew was coming. It’s not a surprise. Before Christmas he was able to buy rediculous little robot for basically himself, always had shit to smoke, and went out to eat multiple times. Not one time did he look at something to get me or ask what I would want. He did same thing with his mom I tried so hard to make sure to get her things she would like and make her things she hopefully liked. And he just thought about shit on Christmas Eve after he got his shit.
Tag: Christmas
My Christmas Eve
Fuck where should I start. Ok I had alot of things I needed to do. I had to finish dress for my daughter. Finish gifts for my mother in law. Cook Christmas Eve dinner which was basically Christmas dinner but day before so could do with my dad. I also need to wrap the last of the presents and clean my daughter’s room. This asshole plan was to do nothing and go see a friend. He fucks around and waits till I already put turkey in oven for over two hours and decides he’s got to go now. So I ask him to stop and pick up shit for stocking stuffers. He then tells me I can go if I want it he’s not going to get and if I don’t go not happening. He then tells me I’m shitty Mom for not going. I already know he’s going to be gone at least two hours and I need to start the sides. I can’t fucking leave while I got turkey in oven. Im still doing things for Christmas and this asshole leaves to fuck around. Not only does he wait until the weather turns to shit he also takes my daughter like he’s doing me a favor. Another shit part is he gets her fast food while out. So when they finally get home and dinner is done they don’t eat anything. I’m not being dramatic like they made small plate they ate nothing. Like are you fucking kidding me. I made turkey,gravy, mashed potatoes, broccoli,cheese sauce and stuffing. Me and my dad ate and I thought they would eventually eat something but no ate nothing. Didn’t help me do anything. Not cleaning or putting away the food I made which was most of it because I made alot thinking we would all eat. So now I have most of a twenty pound turkey left and basically 90% of the food I made left. I waited till my daughter was asleep to put out presents I thought he would help but no couldn’t do that either. I asked him to grab a gift card or something from the store for my dad he got nothing. I made his mom four Christmas placemats, two Christmas hanging towels, four more placemats and two towels to match, I also painted some wood ornaments for her and decorated with family photos. Then I also bought her a Nora Flemming salt and pepper set and two ceramic decorations that go with it which was around $60. I don’t have alot of money and I really tried this year to make it a nice Christmas for his mom, him and our daughter. So yeah just another heart breaking day of no appreciation and being alone with people around. Not really looking forward to tomorrow. I splurged and bought myself some perfume I always wanted but didn’t want to spend the money on which is fucked because it was $35. O yeah also got his mom a gift card for restaurant for $50 so yeah really fucked up. Fuck the holidays.
Disappointing
So basically did absolutely nothing all day. Avoiding this asshole. There was so much I wanted and needed to do. But he was in mood and better to do nothing then deal with his endless rants of how much I suck. In days like this it always seems like no matter what I do he’s not happy. I do dishes he complains I’m not cleaning living room. I switch to do that and he yells at me for bothering him and being in the way. So far way behind in things that need done before Christmas. Doesn’t help I keep adding more things to do but I always do that. I been making homemade quesadillas and shit there so good. Want some tomorrow but low to no cheese so probably make something else. Need to get game plan and bust shit out. Complain later
Ok just to clarify some shit I don’t spell check or pay attention to what I write. I think of shit and just write it down. I also don’t proofread anything which is probably bad but honestly if I did I would never blog anything. Unless I’m upset I don’t really have plan on what I’m going to say. Ok watching TV with my daughter and what the fuck is with kids tv these days really dumbing shit down. New show where kids friend is a garbage truck. Why the hell would they think a kid should play with a garbage truck. Also going to talk shit about curious George fuck I loathe to that fucking monkey. Every fucking time a grown ass adult is suprised a monkey does some stupid shit. It’s a monkey shouldn’t be a pet at all. Is it cause he’s a man he’s got to be so oblivious to dumb shit about to happen. Tired of all these dumbass kids shows showing kids getting into dumbass problems she don’t need anymore fucking ideas. Also must they glorify everything. Everyone has great jobs, live in nice houses in nice areas. Rarely ever see anyone in apartment like way to make me feel even worst about my life. Like fuck man I would love piglets house it’s adorable. Everyone usually has a animal. We had fish they died so tried bird was good until it also died way sadder when bird dies. I fucking cried felt bad about not getting it good last meal. It would of been watermelon he loved watermelon. She been asking for a dog I want a dog too it fucking sucks miss having a dog. I used to be in no dog building but know everyone saying they need emotional support animals every asshole has a dog. Huge fucking dogs that take huge shits everywhere and there owners ignore. My downstairs neighbor has a dog and has to have his patio door open so everyone can hear is fucking dog bark all day and night. Yeah asshole. Such a asshole he non-stop talks shit if he hears other people’s dogs like what. Your fucking dog is annoying. I really don’t understand how that makes sense in his brain. His do barks totally ok other dog barks how fucking dare they. What is the idea behind getting the biggest fucking dog you can get you live in small apartment and don’t walk it. I loved walking my dog. We used to go on like five walks a day. Watching shit about getting dog for Christmas. Already asked over twenty times. Fun times
Yep
Why is it this asshole can go out to get things for himself. Yet if we need something for everyone in the house there’s no way he’s going to get it. This man only thinks of himself and his needs this minute. He doesn’t plan ahead for anything or schedule. His mom finally tells him what she would like for Christmas he didn’t look one time to see about availability or price. Just completely ignores it and expects me to do it. I already got her gift card, making placemats and making hanging towels. Can you do anything. Nope I bought the shit today. We have ten days till Christmas. Not like he didn’t have money he just always chooses to spend on fun things. Instead of buying shit he needs like gloves,socks, or underwear he chooses to go out to eat or buy shit we don’t need. It would be nice to sometimes not feel like I’m dating a man child.
Gift wrapping season
I don’t like Christmas that much but I love wrapping gifts. I wrapped most of mine today and sweet baby shits I don’t know how to spell people’s kids name. Why people stop naming there kid simple names like Mike, Kim, and Nick. I try looking up how to spell it there’s like thirty fucking ways like come on. My asshole has two nieces that are sister’s and I always get there names messed up but we’ve been together so long I feel like it would be rude to ask know like shit after seven years you’d think I know no I really don’t have a clue. Shit there brother I used to call a differently name cause I didn’t like the name they chose. Obviously they don’t know that but shit always forget his name also. His family is a bunch of weirdos so can’t even use nick names. I use to call my niece Bojangles. My nephews I called one Thompson Leonardo Bloo. Another one Alecia Tameka Jackson. The last one Jumbalaya i just thought the word was fun. The Thompson part is from Hunter S Thompson. Bloo is Bloo regard kookazoo from a cartoon. Alecia is twist on his name yeah for a boy. I’m a dork and like nick names for kids. Plus I watched them a shit ton and we were close.
Gifts
I hate Christmas. I hate having to go to people’s houses and opening gifts in front of them. I really don’t like opening gifts in front of people I’m not good at looking surprised or hidding the fact I don’t like something. I loathed doing it for baby showers and my daughter first birthday. I’m so glad she can do it herself. She also not good at hidding her dislike of her gifts. Last year her grandma got her clothes she liked most of them but one pair of pants she just looked at them and said “no” and handed them back. I hate buying gifts for people like I don’t know what the fuck to buy you. I told my asshole I didn’t know what to buy his mother I don’t know her she’s a stranger. He got annoyed and said you’ve know her for over five years. Why do people think that just because I know someone means I actually know anything about them. All I know is she hangs out with her sister a lot and that his family treats her shitty. Ok hears example she usually does holidays with her family but they left her out this year incase there kids come. I fucking highly doubt there kids came they never do. It’s like my brother in law my daughter asked what I was going to get him. I honestly wasn’t really planning on getting him anything he’s been in my family 18 years my niece just turned 17 only reason I know. But I don’t really know anything about him. He hangs out with my asshole sometimes and watched his baby yesterday but no don’t know anything about him. I really hate giving gifts I over think the shit about it. I sew and do many crafts but honestly hate giving anything I make to people as gift I feel like never enough. Makes me miss my mom she would just tell you exactly what she wanted. None of this anything is nice bullshit. Ok I know I say the same shit but that’s different I don’t like asking for anything or telling people what I like. Yeah I’m a fucking weirdo I know just feel like it’s so personal makes me feel exposed. I know that’s fucking strange but when you been a loner all your life you learn to keep shit to yourself. I also really don’t want anything I’m trying to declutter my house not get more shit. I’m just tired of shit I never use. I once got a sandwich maker I never used it once felt terrible but I don’t like gagets. I held on to it for three years. I felt bad about not wanting it it’s reason I hate gifts. We went to his mom’s on Thanksgiving and she made two pies they were good but I really don’t like sweets and didn’t want to take any as soon as I sad that I could tell she got really hurt and we end up taking half of the pie. I tried giving to my daughter she doesn’t want and my asshole doesn’t eat leftovers. Yeah isn’t that stupid. I did try eating the turkey it tasted gamey like how does it taste like this. Anyways have to idea what to get people fucking sucks.
Thanksgiving
Ok covid fucked everyone’s year. But I’m so glad I don’t have to do rediculous Thanksgiving and Christmas. Who likes going to in-laws house with shit ton of kids and eating food you don’t really like. My family makes a turkey, dinner mashed potatoes, stuffing, sweet potatoes, gravy, and yes cheese sauce. I put cheese sauce my turkey, mashed potatoes and broccoli. I really don’t like gravy on everything cheese sauce is the way to go. The first time I went to my in-laws I took cheese sauce. These people had to talk about this shit the entire time. These are the same people who overcook most things and some reason have tater tots at every family gathering. This year it’s different I only have to deal with my mother in law. Yes she over cooks everything also but I can deal. She always makes us take half the leftovers which yeah I definitely don’t want but it’s fine it’s one person I can deal with it.
I am most likely not going to make anything. Maybe cheese sauce. But I’m not sure if I want to deal with the bitchy comments. You think after almost seven years hearing the non-stop bitchy comments I would be ok with them but no. Still annoying and still completely unnecessary. Boy are they unnecessary.
shit life 