Sometimes I wonder where is my mind. I put dates on things today for my job and I put two months ago date. Like wtf what was I thinking. Then later I was thinking of snacking and I randomly thought of something I haven’t ate in years. It’s going to sound gross but saltines with American cheese and mustard. Yeah I know wtf gross but I love it. Then later I thought about when I worked some shitty job and we’re getting free food and I didn’t get good shit I got basic shit because I didn’t want to sound greedy. Like fuck that shit job should of got insane amount of food. It was an ok job but this one guy made me incredibly uncomfortable working there. Always say random shit that creeped me out. He said he looked up my Facebook page. First of all I don’t have one because my dude is insane. Secondly is that normal to look people up on Facebook that you work with. I have no interest in looking my coworkers up on Facebook like shit I don’t care about your holiday pics or the dumb shit you post. Fucking creeped me out. I ended up leaving because he made me so uncomfortable. It honestly took me a while to consider he was harrasing me. I didn’t see the point to say anything. I’m tired and watching some bullshit tv. Might start posting more stuff. I don’t know.
Tag: disapointed
Don’t look unless you expect the worst
Ok I bought a bike preparing for the day this jackass refuses to take me to work. It was the cheapest bike I could buy. I don’t normally buy things for myself but I bought this for me. I of course still got to hear shit about how I’m a selfish bitch and shitty mom. I got the mail the other day and automatically just put in my bag on my way to work. Today I looked at it it was some bs and his bank statement. Usually I don’t look at it but did this time. And fuvking a this ass hat spent shit ton of money without saying a fucking word. I talked about buying the bike. This dip shit spends over three grand without batting a fucking eye. I really want this fucking human garbage out of my fucking life. I don’t need this selfish ass hat putting me down and spending shit ton of money behind my back. Fuck you fuck you stupid asshole I hate you. Spending money that wasn’t even yours. Selfish fucking prick.
Yet again screwing me over
Told him I have no interest in being with him or living with him. His response is to drive my broken car like shit and playing music at six in the morning. I just want to part and never see him again he’s gone the other way and seems to be attempting to fuck over what little I have buy completely destroying my car and making sure I wouldn’t want to live here. So yeah really fun. I don’t have money to repair my shit box of a car. It’s honestly a waste because as soon as something is fixed another thing breaks. Yeah fuck that shit car I hate you. Piece of shit Jetta. Just want this drama out of my life.
Yep
I just bought something I been wanting to buy for years. It was under twenty dollars and it’s cheap and absolutely made in China. Yet I love it and I don’t want to wear it or show much interested in it. I know it’s only a matter of time until he shits on it and puts me down for even liking it. He’s going to tell me I’m selfish for always buying things for myself. This is the same man who will wait till I get off of working twelve hour shift and make me get him stuff from gas station. Spending my money and being the one to go in and get it. Because he rather wait twelve hours for me to get then to just get it himself. Same person who won’t let me go to laundry mat alone yet will just sit there while I wash and fold laundry complaining how long it’s taking. It takes as long as it takes. I’m not leaving with wet laundry so I can attempt to hang shit ton of towels around my house. Fuck that you can wait ten more minutes.
Permanently depressed
I am in a perpetual state of on edge of tears. Haven’t cryed yet but always feel like I’m I guess overwhelmed. I just feel emotionally exhausted. I always want to do so much then get put down and end up doing nothing. We went on a family run which was so fun. But even when were having fun exercising as a family he has to put down everything I do. I run slow, I have bad form, I think we should go look at water after no he said no, then I say we should play on playground after because she’s being good and listening. No he doesn’t want that. I usually do what he wants. But fuck if I want to do something I shouldn’t get scolded like a fucking child. Like today I got yelled at like a child then he turned off the wifi so I would have to use my data. My phone has like no data an sucks. So yeah really bullshit getting yelled at and having something taken away like a child. Fuck you asshole never have I done that to you. Fucking asshat
Narcissistic personality disorder .A disorder in which a person has an inflated sense of self-importance.Narcissistic personality disorder is found more commonly in men. The cause is unknown but likely involves a combination of genetic and environmental factors. Ok I woke up this morning and got screamed at for about two hours. There is nothing he won’t say. Nothing that is off limits. I been done with this god awful relationship for so long. But it keeps fucking going I just want to be able to leave. Leave without worrying he’s going to show up at my job harrasing people. That he’s not going to try and put every intamate thing we’ve done on the internet. I don’t want to have to worry about coming home to everything I own destroyed. I just want to leave and never deal with him again. I’m just tired of pretending everything is good and I want to be with him. I’m tired of getting put down and feeling miserable. The days I’m off work I’m usually getting screamed at and talked down too. Then when im working all I don’t do anything because I’m working 12 hour days and it kicks my ass. Then I come home and have to deal with his ass. Asking me to make him food asking what we’re going to do. I’m tired of my whole life revolving around him. Everything I do is about him shopping for him. Making food he wants to eat. Going to places with him. I’m tired of it.
Getting things started
Why is it getting started so annoying long. What happened to the times where you wanted to do something like go to school or get job you basically just had to walk in the door. Getting a job is making a resume no one’s going to look at. Applying to a hundred places and maybe get three call backs. Where they ask you about your resume they clearly didn’t read. Then put down all of your experience and act like your a horrible person for leaving a shit job. Or good forbid you leave without giving notice. That’s bullshit I was getting harassed and told management and they acted like I was being dramatic so I quit that. or another job just telling me I’m going to get a promotion and dick me around for months then randomly give it to someone else after I was basically doing the job. They don’t deserve notice. Another thing is so many places act like we should be insanely loyal to some shit place constantly screwing there employees. Fuck you think I have to be loyal to do my job properly. Get the fuck out of here.
Why
I been working on something. I started off very excited but idk the farther I get with it the more I hate it. It looks terrible. I hate it but I keep working on it hopping it’s going to turn out ok. I really don’t think I’m going to like it when it’s over. It’s like the second thing I made for myself. I usually make things for other people. But this time I was like fuck everyone else and I’m making something for myself. I keep thinking it will get better then I look at it and I’m like I fucking hate you. I added something special and I still hate it. Im going to finish it and see how I feel. I really don’t think I’ll keep it. I’ll probably take it apart. Idk yet
shit life 