Told him I have no interest in being with him or living with him. His response is to drive my broken car like shit and playing music at six in the morning. I just want to part and never see him again he’s gone the other way and seems to be attempting to fuck over what little I have buy completely destroying my car and making sure I wouldn’t want to live here. So yeah really fun. I don’t have money to repair my shit box of a car. It’s honestly a waste because as soon as something is fixed another thing breaks. Yeah fuck that shit car I hate you. Piece of shit Jetta. Just want this drama out of my life.
Tag: hate my life
Not really a suprise at all but he did it again
Well of course he woke up acting like asshole. I desperately need to wash my work clothes because I delt with someone with infection. I was going to come alone this morning. He said would be better if we did all the laundry tonight. Guess what he refused to take me to laundry mat. So I walked here alone because I can’t wear the same clothes dirty to work. Anytime we make plans I automatically assume he’s going to pull some bs and screw me over. Lucky I live right by laundry mat and stores. My work is only like two miles away. Really considering getting a new bike. Car is turning to shit anyway so be good to get rid of it and save money for car.
Yep
I just bought something I been wanting to buy for years. It was under twenty dollars and it’s cheap and absolutely made in China. Yet I love it and I don’t want to wear it or show much interested in it. I know it’s only a matter of time until he shits on it and puts me down for even liking it. He’s going to tell me I’m selfish for always buying things for myself. This is the same man who will wait till I get off of working twelve hour shift and make me get him stuff from gas station. Spending my money and being the one to go in and get it. Because he rather wait twelve hours for me to get then to just get it himself. Same person who won’t let me go to laundry mat alone yet will just sit there while I wash and fold laundry complaining how long it’s taking. It takes as long as it takes. I’m not leaving with wet laundry so I can attempt to hang shit ton of towels around my house. Fuck that you can wait ten more minutes.
Shit relationship
Every damn time it happens I’m someone suprised yet also expecting it. I just took my daughter to a class and we got food and we’re going to go to a park to eat and play. We get to park and it’s gravel parking lot with no lines and no other cars. He pulls in then has to back in for some reason. I just just park already and he instantly gets mad and puts me down. Calling me fat ass and saying he’s ready to leave. I just sit down and start eating. He continues to put me down my daughter finishes her fries and goes and plays on playground. I make sure the slides are dry and hug her and go back to eating. He then starts saying I’m using my child as a pawn. What kind of fucked up person thinks this of the person there with. What the fuck is wrong with him. Apparently me hugging my daughter before she plays is me using her as a pawn. I really loathe that he has to say this in front of her. I hate him having absolutely no respect for me or my feelings. No respect no respect at all.
Permanently depressed
I am in a perpetual state of on edge of tears. Haven’t cryed yet but always feel like I’m I guess overwhelmed. I just feel emotionally exhausted. I always want to do so much then get put down and end up doing nothing. We went on a family run which was so fun. But even when were having fun exercising as a family he has to put down everything I do. I run slow, I have bad form, I think we should go look at water after no he said no, then I say we should play on playground after because she’s being good and listening. No he doesn’t want that. I usually do what he wants. But fuck if I want to do something I shouldn’t get scolded like a fucking child. Like today I got yelled at like a child then he turned off the wifi so I would have to use my data. My phone has like no data an sucks. So yeah really bullshit getting yelled at and having something taken away like a child. Fuck you asshole never have I done that to you. Fucking asshat
Why
I been working on something. I started off very excited but idk the farther I get with it the more I hate it. It looks terrible. I hate it but I keep working on it hopping it’s going to turn out ok. I really don’t think I’m going to like it when it’s over. It’s like the second thing I made for myself. I usually make things for other people. But this time I was like fuck everyone else and I’m making something for myself. I keep thinking it will get better then I look at it and I’m like I fucking hate you. I added something special and I still hate it. Im going to finish it and see how I feel. I really don’t think I’ll keep it. I’ll probably take it apart. Idk yet
Mornings
Why do mornings always have to suck. If I’m working shits going on. If I’m home this asshole is bitching and wanting to argue about everything. I usually don’t say anything because if I do they last all fucking day. It doesn’t matter what I say because I’m always wrong and he’s always right and I’m horrible person. I woke up and wanted to just run to the store alone for some things but I know if I go I’ll get accused of cheating. And told I’m a shit person. I need milk and we’re really low like fucks sake. I hate you. Make everything little thing I do a huge big fucking deal. Stupid asshole
This morning
So far been train wreck. I’m at work and everything is fucking up. Kitchen running with skeleton crew. I mean like barely getting shit out. New people who don’t know about. Everything happening at once. Just overall shit. These are the days that make or break people. Someone was already ready to leave.
Does he like this?
Sometimes I feel like this asshole likes making me feel like shit and putting me down. He’ll always argue about the most rediculous things. This morning because we haven’t had sex. Just going on and on how he despises me. Told me to fuck off and die. And many more beyond horrible things. My feelings are more I don’t like you please leave. I don’t want to talk to him or be by him I’m not going to fight or argue I’m just done and want to move on. He shits on everything I like so much and with such enthusiasm it just makes me hate most of my stuff. It’s at the point I don’t want to openly like anything because it’s only a matter of time before he shits on it. I have antique furniture and I loved it so much. But he spent so much time and energy trashing it and telling me how fucking stupid I am for liking what I like I really don’t want most of my stuff anymore. I bought something and right away he’s got to say something. I was very excited and right away crushed. That’s him constantly putting down everything about me, everything I like, and how I am. Real fun
F that
Seen my old job hiring. I worked there and loved it I worked alone and was never bothered. Work was easy and days went by quickly. They left go off all the temps do to lack of work in May because of covid. So I apply to many jobs get a call interview and I tell her I worked there before she says I didn’t look at anything and I’ll call you back. Ok I think I’ll way couple days for her call. She never calls and I try using number off Google that doesn’t work. I go through website and use that number takes twenty minutes finally got to talk to someone and they just say idk I’ll tell them to call you back. Ok fine whatever I liked the job. Another week goes by and nothing. So I go on the website again and talk to someone through messenger. They say there look into it and they assure me someone is going to call me back within a couple of days. Again ok fine. But no fucking nothing. I go on there Facebook and see there having a open interviews ok I go and talk to someone and ask about coming back. And what is the bs response I get back o we’re not bring back people who worked here before. I asked why and that’s all they fucking say. I did my fucking job,was on time, worked hard, helped other employees when they needed help, I didn’t leave early or fuck around. But apparently fuck all they they just don’t want to bring anyone back who worked there before because they said so. Are you fucking serious. Fuck you hope you struggle to fill the positions. Assholes. Waste of fucking time and energy making sure I did everything I could just to be thrown away. Way to fuck over some loyal hardworking people. Cause I wasn’t hired in so not really like I mattered apparently. Fuck you.
shit life 