Lame

I had some interviews recently and thought they went great. I was really excited about just working again. They were not the best jobs but ok jobs. I haven’t heard anything and I like to pretend o whatever they were shit I don’t care. But shit even they didn’t want me they were stupid easy jobs I could do in my sleep but no not good enough for them. Makes me realize how low my self esteem is when I don’t get a shitty job and I’m crushed. All I keep thinking is what did I do wrong and why I wasn’t good enough. I hate that about myself. It’s worst when I look at who they actually hire. When I worked in a factory and applied for the position above me and they gave it to some dumb guy who barely did anything and his way to do his job was to call someone else. I always feel like I have to prove myself.

Errrrrr

Errrrrr. My mind is going non-stop and I need something to distract me until I get a job. So I made huge list of things I want to do and it’s pretty fucking big. At least twenty things on the list and each thing has multiple things to do to finish. Or it’s a long process to do. Waiting for Monday for job interview. Driving me crazy.