You ever dislike someone then they do something and your like shit whole new level of hatred. He continues to make new levels of hatred. First was when he called me fat when I was pregnant. Then came when my daughter was born and told me I was shit mom and thank God my mom wasn’t around to see the shit mom I am. Another time this psycho brought up something that happened a year ago like it was yesterday and fuck if I remember that stupid shit and acted like caught me in lie. See now say something else entirely. Another pretty fucked up thing making me message dirty things so he can masturbate and get off. Some thing he would be making me message would be saying I would like to fuck his friend. His creepy always dirty looking gross lazy selfish friend. Then he would threaten to show everyone when I leave. Including naked photos we took when we got along. Said would send to everyone in my family and at my job. Couple times he refused to take me to work if didn’t “help”. This is when I was the only one working and couldn’t miss any days or would be fired. Before him I would never take off work. With him I use to take off because sometimes I just needed day off of explaining to him who was near me or of people talked to. I’m a huge fucking introvert but apparently as soon as I get to work he thinks I’m going to love small talk with random people. So I would have to explain how far away people were. Because he’s insane.
Tag: introvert
Lame
Yeah my schedule is messed up. Fucking great loved waking up early. Got so much done. Now nothing did some shit yesterday but barley anything in comparison to days woke up early. I’m trying to look at jobs not very limited opportunities when you need to work around a child and someone else schedule. Keep showing jobs far away even when I narrow search. Seen something I would love but then noticed was two hours away. I’ve thought of moving away but two hours I feel is to far and cause more drama and problems. This asshole changed the wifi password so I’m using all my data. At least I have phone before he would just turn off to punish me. My sister talks about us living together I’m contemplating it. But very unsure. I want to get away but I don’t know about living with someone. I don’t want to feel like I have to clean up after everyone or watch someone’s child. It doesn’t matter really for now because I need to get a job and my driver’s license. Yeah I don’t have one actually hard to get when no one is willing to teach you. All my asshole does is scream at me. When we drive he’s very perticular about windows and heat and music so I never touch anything cause he’ll just freak out. So I don’t know where anything is. I can open windows but im not good at remembering wipers or lights. The last time I drove was two months ago when tried getting my driver’s license and failed. Before my test he told me what’s the point your going to fail. So yeah fun. Before that I drove some but not really a lot. He always just ends up screaming at me and I’m not in the mood to deal with that. Yeah that’s the story of how where still together I just don’t do things he doesn’t like so I don’t have to deal with him freaking out. Even know he freaks out about everything.
What the hell
Ok bought something on website said it uses ups. Ok good never have problems with ups but no they ship with fed x and what the shit I always have problems with them. Amazon and ups they fucking scan everything fed x is like asking drunk lazy cousin to do shit. It’s not going to happen and some lame ass excuse. Lost in transit bs someone stole that shit. Like you don’t take random packages to random places. How is shit lost in transit where is it getting lost. There’s not a fucking black hole in the warehouse. Fuck those people who stole my shit cause guess what I order shit no one wants so have fun with my water balloons you ass hat. Also fuck my random neighbors who steal my packages yeah Walmart takes pictures of that shit so I know was delivered. Hope you had fun with my laundry soap, hot glue gun and training wheels you pieces of human garbage. What the fuck you thinking I’m buying dip shits. You think I’m getting gold in the fucking mail we all living in shitty apartment building clearly no one hear is buying anything worth it. On a side bitch fuck you Dell for not putting my fucking computer in an unmarked box. How fucking stupid do you have to be why don’t you just put the fucking price on it also make shit easier for them to resell. Rambling another package stole had kid rain boots, embroidery scissors, kindergarten school supplies,and a dress hope you made big money off that you cock suckers. Eat shit and die yeah still annoyed
Lovely
Nothing like trying to quitely listen to music when your depressed. Then your asshole in other room blast music he knows you really don’t like. Just lovely. Completely oblivious to how I feel about anything. Again I suck at spelling. Fucking American schools.
I am such a dork
Ever since I started my bs blog ived gotten notifications about likes and people following. Not going to lie at first it was annoying so turned it off on my phone. But I word look at the notifications on my app. It was nice to know people where interested in what I was saying. Not a lot of people but to know there was any one who liked what I had to say was nice. Other day I didn’t get any notifications and how dare you people. I’m kidding but I did have a mini moment where I felt alone again. Made me realize how much I like being able to say what I need to say. I always thought talking about it was bullshit. But it really helps me to write down and talk about all the bullshit I have to deal with on a daily basis. I tried reading some other peoples blog but them talking about how much there husband is there for them made me more depressed. Which is weird cause I do like a show where everything is perfect and there problems are usually like i have to throw party for twenty people in four days. Basically a non problem. I wish I had problems like that instead I get my asshole screams at me makes me feel worthless alone and unable to change anything. It’s easier to watch a dumb tv show cause it’s so rediculously unreal. But reading about an actual real person is hard. Knowing that people have that perfect life where everything isn’t a constant struggle. It’s a reason I don’t like getting rid of things I struggled to get everything I have and hard to just give away something I struggled for. Like my shitty car I hate it he picked it out and I feel like it’s a lemon. The entire time I was afraid that I was going to miss payment and ruin my credit. Or it would be repoed I never missed a payment but the entire time still worried. I live in the country you really need a car to get around. I used to live in the suburbs before I would just walk or take bus car was nice but I really didn’t care. Of course my asshole would also say he’ll call people I have car payment with and tell them I don’t have insurance and it will be repoed. Yeah I’m shit speller. Fuck this is long and I’m rambling. Flicka dicka
Gifts
I hate Christmas. I hate having to go to people’s houses and opening gifts in front of them. I really don’t like opening gifts in front of people I’m not good at looking surprised or hidding the fact I don’t like something. I loathed doing it for baby showers and my daughter first birthday. I’m so glad she can do it herself. She also not good at hidding her dislike of her gifts. Last year her grandma got her clothes she liked most of them but one pair of pants she just looked at them and said “no” and handed them back. I hate buying gifts for people like I don’t know what the fuck to buy you. I told my asshole I didn’t know what to buy his mother I don’t know her she’s a stranger. He got annoyed and said you’ve know her for over five years. Why do people think that just because I know someone means I actually know anything about them. All I know is she hangs out with her sister a lot and that his family treats her shitty. Ok hears example she usually does holidays with her family but they left her out this year incase there kids come. I fucking highly doubt there kids came they never do. It’s like my brother in law my daughter asked what I was going to get him. I honestly wasn’t really planning on getting him anything he’s been in my family 18 years my niece just turned 17 only reason I know. But I don’t really know anything about him. He hangs out with my asshole sometimes and watched his baby yesterday but no don’t know anything about him. I really hate giving gifts I over think the shit about it. I sew and do many crafts but honestly hate giving anything I make to people as gift I feel like never enough. Makes me miss my mom she would just tell you exactly what she wanted. None of this anything is nice bullshit. Ok I know I say the same shit but that’s different I don’t like asking for anything or telling people what I like. Yeah I’m a fucking weirdo I know just feel like it’s so personal makes me feel exposed. I know that’s fucking strange but when you been a loner all your life you learn to keep shit to yourself. I also really don’t want anything I’m trying to declutter my house not get more shit. I’m just tired of shit I never use. I once got a sandwich maker I never used it once felt terrible but I don’t like gagets. I held on to it for three years. I felt bad about not wanting it it’s reason I hate gifts. We went to his mom’s on Thanksgiving and she made two pies they were good but I really don’t like sweets and didn’t want to take any as soon as I sad that I could tell she got really hurt and we end up taking half of the pie. I tried giving to my daughter she doesn’t want and my asshole doesn’t eat leftovers. Yeah isn’t that stupid. I did try eating the turkey it tasted gamey like how does it taste like this. Anyways have to idea what to get people fucking sucks.
Sleep schedule
I cannot get in regular sleep schedule. I don’t know what the hell. Anytime I try to reset my schedule it never works. Other day up all night and day and went to bed around nine I woke up at one like what the hell. Same shit yesterday I tried going to bed later like almost 11 I woke up at three been up since. It sucks being up all night. I can’t make any noise I basically just watch videos on my phone it’s boring. I been trying to sell shit online it is horrible. Even when I try to give shit away for free people just flake out. What is wrong with people I tried to give shit away and had over ten people message me all said would pick up then they flake out. If anyone was offering me something I wanted I would be there. Being up all the time I’ve notice some weird shit about my shitty neighbors. My one nieghbors only ever make noises at three in the morning to fight for hour. My lower neighbor only seems to make noise when he thinks we’re asleep. Like seriously as soon as we get quite he blast very repetitive music like same three notes for an hour. Also in ever hear anyone having sex not like I want to but most of my nieghbors are in relationships. Are people just having silent sex. Like how do you not make any noises. Also people must shower as soon as I get in shower. I took shower other night at three thirty but still someone instantly starting using water. So fuck it Im switching to baths. Now I watch videos in the tub. So suck it water stalkers now I take a hour long bath. It’s fucking awesome.
Talking
One of the shitty things about my life how completely fucking alone I feel always. I know I am a loner by heart but any of the times I ever tried to talk to someone I always 100% regretted it. First time my asshole came screaming to my job made huge scene was very embarrassed,ashamed and upset. I’m a very private person I don’t like to share anything. He’ll I’ve worked with people for months and they never knew my name. I like to keep work and life completely separate. Like Ived have people who would call me there work wife but they didn’t know anything about me. Anyways back to bull he screamed at me screamed at my pregnant boss. Everyone acted very supportive and concerned. The next day completely different everyone completely ignored me,made sure not to talk to me and had shit ton o work waiting for me when I got there. Was like that till I quit. Next time I tried to talk to someone about it they acted very nice and supportive. Then pretty much walked away and made fun of me and talked a bunch of shit. So don’t really talk about it with people anymore. Better off less drama well at work anyway. Always felt like people looked down on me when they knew. I rather them know nothing. Woo fun times
Side note I don’t know about the titles like always seem stupid. It’s much more like a diary people can read. Well me it is.
Let the whining beginning
It wouldn’t be life with an asshole if he didn’t constantly wake up with a bitchy aditude. First thing he wakes up flips out about some stupid shit I tried opossuming it didn’t work. Like always this asshole is relentless and willing to endlessly argue about the most mundane igsnificate thing. It’s never good to respond because he with twist anything you say and then harp on it for an hour. I tried different tactics I tried reasoning no didn’t work. I tried explaining no still didn’t work just harps on that bullshit. I tried ignoring no this bat shit crazy asshole with just argue with himself. Like he’s actually talking to me. He gets really into to it. Got to do his mocking voice and imitating me. Then he gets loud and then quite cause he’s not yelling. He also gets really close in you face you don’t even need to respond cause he’s just going to yell and basically spit on you. Yeah shake my head. Couple times I even agreed with whatever he was saying he just yelled as much. The effort he puts into having an argument is insane. Then when he’s done he acts like everything is fine. Like I don’t have fucking amnesia you asshole. I still don’t want to be by you. The only thing that’s gotten better is he use to bring up shit from years ago like I just fucking did it like really. Dealing with him makes me exhausted. Sometimes I just go to sleep because my dreams are better than my life. Real fucked up. Ok rant complete I made crepes.
Silver foxes
I was watching something with my daughter and it had a silver fox in it. The man was cute when he was younger but now he’s sexy as hell. As I get older and older the more I like silver foxes. Yeah men in there mid twenties are cute but I don’t really consider them sexy. I really don’t care about body as long as no beer belly. I love a silver fox. Even know there very hard to see in the wild. I can still hope. Here are some famous silver foxes.
Another thing I’m liking is facial hair. In my twenties I was fuck no shave that shit you lumberjack. Now I’m like yeah sexy hairy beast. WARNING OVERLY TRUE STORY. Ok I was at my job and it was no shave November and this one guy walking around looking real good facial hair and weirdest shit popped into my mind. I thought about liking chili off his facial hair. Yes fucking chili like what the fuck. Like why chili it’s like the least sexy food. Fucking chili been years I’m still like why girl why.
This weird shit men are doing were there trying to look like lumberjack bikers is not hot look rediculous. Think it’s called lumbersexual. So stupid totally not my thing but you dudes do you. Also most o these men wear insanely tight pants and have a bit of a belly. I randomly see these in the wild and pants too tight no room for nothing. Like none. Must be tiny.
Feel like this shit is mark of a asshole
shit life 